I
work some evenings for a dog trainer where we help people become responsible, kind owners of calm, confident, obedient dogs. We often work in an outdoor shopping area so that the dogs are challenged by social interaction with other dogs, humans and the environment. The result is that the dogs become happy, positive members of our society.
This evening was 'test night' where canines and their humans were assessed on their obedience and leadership, respectively. Several of the dogs were lined up, sitting, waiting patiently... while two small children squealed, screamed, chased one another through the area. The parents of the children were... somewhere...(looks off into the distance) Oh, yes, over there... sipping a latte' at the Starbucks...completely unaware. I suppose as long as they could hear their children squealing, they figured they knew where they were...all was right with the world...
Alas, the dogs were completely distracted by the high-pitched yelps - when I was a girl in Texas, we used a similar sound to call coyotes - it's the sound a rabbit makes when attacked. It's a sound that dogs find painful. It's a sound that I find even more painful: the sound of the poorly behaved child.
After a few minutes of this, the dog trainer first tried moving the canine-human teams down a bit. The children expanded their territory, increased their volume and - okay, let me add here that I HAVE children, I LIKE children - I do not like poorly-behaved children.
The trainer finally approached the children, redirected them to their parents, who were politely surprised that anyone would be bothered by their darlings and did exercise some authority at last.
But it did get me thinking about Leadership... and a lack thereof. How many of us have 'poorly behaved children' in our barns? And we tolerate it, ignore it, or even make excuses for it because we haven't taken the time it takes to establish our Leadership in the Relationship.
Oh, but aren't they adorable when they shove into our space? Aren't they precious when they run off at the sight of a halter? Those little darlings that nip and step on feet and turn their hindends in our direction or refuse to pick up their feet are simply too cute to correct, right?
No! Please no! Horses and children both need to learn to be respectful. It is unfair of us to allow snotty behavior to continue when we know the result will very likely be a dangerous horse. It is irresponsible to teach a horse that this behavior is acceptable (every time you let it happen, you've taught him).
W
ith an attitude of Justice, polite and patient persistence, while remaining positive, progressive and natural, we CAN teach them. Love, Language and LEADERSHIP - yes, in equal doses, even though I capped the one word - is the key. This is how we create happy, confident partners and delightful, charming, contributing members of society. Our horses will be braver, smarter, safer and more athletic and our children will be braver, smarter and goodness, more pleasant! They deserve the very best from us, don't they?
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